Preparing your child for middle school - KTUL.com - Tulsa, Oklahoma - News, Weather & Sports

By Howard Seidman, Staff Writer, myOptumHealth

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"But I won't know anybody!"

If you have a child about to start middle school, this may sound familiar. Making the transition to a new school can be exciting and scary for a child. Gone is the experience of one classroom, one teacher and one set of peers. Now comes the reality of many classrooms and teachers, more peers and a higher set of academic and personal expectations.

Add to that the experience of going through puberty.

This can be a tough time for tweens. It comes at a stage in their development when they are most likely to flirt with risky behaviors. The grades, self-motivation and self-esteem of some tweens will drop as well.

What do kids look forward to - and fear?

Kids often look forward to these aspects of middle school:

• Meeting new peers
• More freedom
• Having different teachers for many subjects
• Moving to different classrooms
• Eating in the cafeteria
• Participating in sports
• Making new friends

But often their fears about middle school seem to outweigh their anticipation. Fears can include:

• Getting lost
• Getting to class on time
• Dealing with older students and bullies
• Too much homework
• School rules
• Their social status among other kids
• Lockers
• Increased competition

These anxieties can lead to high levels of stress. Girls often find peer relationships stressful. Boys are more likely to have problems not only with peer relationships, but also with authority and academic issues.

What can you do to ease the transition?

As with any rite of passage, communication between parent and child is crucial. But many parents issue warnings about violence and drugs but offer little positive information.

Instead, start by talking about how to make the most out of middle school. Remind children that they can take elective courses, join clubs and play sports. Encourage your child to grow by learning an instrument or getting involved with student government or service projects. Also, try to listen and focus on what is making your child anxious.

You can help your child become more familiar with the school by taking a tour of it. You may be able to explore the school with your child during the summer. Once your child's class schedule is set, see if you can mark a copy of the school map with locker, class and bathroom locations. The more you understand the school's layout and rules, the better you can help.

Students often have burning questions about middle school rules and procedures. Get a copy of the student handbook to review rules, requirements and consequences with your child.

The social transition

Seeing old friends at middle school can make the transition smoother. But to prepare your child to meet many new peers, review some basics of social interaction. For instance:

• Encourage your child to join group conversations.
• Discuss how to jump in without interrupting and to add something relevant.
• Discuss what makes for good friends.
• Practice skills needed for thorny social situations.
• Make eye contact when speaking or listening.

If your child is feeling lonely in the early weeks of school, arrange visits with some of his or her older friends. And always be on the lookout for signs of depression or anxiety.

Your child may be anxious before school starts, but one study showed that about two thirds of kids adjusted to a new school within about four weeks.

If your child is still struggling in middle school after a few months, meet with a guidance counselor. The counselor can usually work with you and your child to identify problems and figure out how to correct them. Talk to your doctor if you have any concerns that your child is depressed.

View the original Preparing your child for middle school article on myOptumHealth.com 

SOURCES:

• Akos P. Student perceptions of the transition from elementary to middle school. Professional School Counseling Journal. 2002;5:339-345.
• Akos P, Galassi JP. Middle and high school transitions as viewed by students, parents, and teachers. Professional School Counseling Journal. 2004;7:212-221.
• American School Counselor Association. Preparing for middle school.
• National Middle School Association. Supporting students in their transition to middle school.